my 14 year old son has no friends

dezembro 15, 2022     Seja o primeiro a comentar

Hi@NywvmomTo2. If he is willing get him to link up with the school counsellor on an on going basis so they can keep an eye on his mental health . He's been like this pretty much his whole life. I ask because my son has asd but around me is fine. The karate didn't help as everyone was either much younger or much older. He gets called gay, (which he isn't) and fat and ugly and he is just so defeated. This is NOT OK , and must be nipped in the bud yesterday . By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. By that time, most people already have established groups of friends, and I'm worried it will be even harder for him to make friends as an adult. Other posts on The Friendship Blog about teen friendships: Having a friendship quandary or dilemma? My advice to you is to have a heart to heart discussion with him at some point. My 14 year old son has no friends or a social life. As we can only assume the reasons, to get a clear point I think you should talk to your child and find out what's causing the issues with the potential friendships. I need some advice please. To get you through these rough waters, here are 7 ways to help your lonely teenager make friends. From the next block, she can hear the sounds of a birthday party to which she wasn't invited even though she thought the birthday girl was her good friend. If they behave aggressively out of the blue and disagreement, this depicts that they can have some social issues going on with his friends. Join Activities. I'm worried about my son. Ask them : What are your strategies for bullying ? I'm sure no one out there wants to feel that their child is missing out or being shunned for one reason or another. Many 14-year-olds develop an interest in forming romantic relationships. He also has a ADHD coupled with a learning disability, so school is a constant struggle for good grades. Hi so sorry to hear your son is having trouble. He isn't the best athlete but i would like to think the school isn't that shallow that unless your on a sports team you get picked on. I know that he does talk to kids at school and I'm pretty sure he's not ostracized there. Here are three steps to help your child find a friend or two. Speak to him alone in a private place. The sad truth is school has become so intense and all -consuming that there is little time to prioritize friendships. The first thing I would do is raise this with the school. He doesn't have a single friend. Also bear in mind that some teens, by virtue of personality, tend to be more comfortable being alone than with others. When teens have solid, healthy relationships in their lives that they can count on unconditionally, it becomes much easier to endure the roller coaster of adolescent friendships. The reality of it is he could just be picky with his friends. This is hard for your teen, but it's also hard on you! Get it in writing if you have to , so you have a come back when things don't change for the better . When he is with me he is great, I do not know what he is doing that is off putting to others. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The doors closes. When I was at secondary school myself, which was over 30 years ago now, I don't recall having a lot of trouble making friends, though I'm quite outgoing and sociable. I got him involved in every activity possible but is not really athletic. I mean he isn't Channing Tatum, but he is a handsome young boy. Cookie Notice In the meantime, it's great that he's made the football team. and our I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Any advice welcome! Young people can be very attuned to their parents' moods and may be reluctant to add to their stress. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I don't want him becoming a hermit or a recluse. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. My 17 yo daughter has experienced periods of loneliness, gone through different groups of friends and at times feels like she doesn't fit into any group at school it is really heartbreaking. "We've made a compromise, that . Other children are quiet, shy or even a little socially awkward. My teenage daughter is losing her friends. He is super bright and intellectual and has trouble making small talk with kids his own age although hes great with adults. Archived. The family home is where we get our bearings to the outside world, and we often follow the examples of our parents and siblings. Reading clubs, computer clubs etc. Six Ways To Help Your Child Make Friends. He has flat feet, asthma, wears glasses and a little overweight. He's often the last chosen for teams, even though he's quite sporty and academic. I'm sure this is a common problem. Reach out to your child's school and teachers to get more information about his daily life and to make them aware of the fact that your child is lonely and feels he has no friends. Posted by 4 years ago. I am so sad to hear what is happening to your boy at school . I visit friends outside the home, like going to dinner with friends, but my son may be reluctant to bring anyone home. When do they act ? I know this is a personal question but does he have an autism spectrum disorder where social communication skills might be the cause. One or two friends are all they need. Last year, he started middle school and met some new kids but got in trouble with them. Parents and carers connect: Its complicated, Single parents, carers and blended familes. What are his interestsmusical instrument, theatre groups, self defence etc. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Not sure if I was popular or not, it doesn't matter anymore. How dare he be subjected to such treatment at his high school . But, my son has no friends and it's breaking my heart. Some children are natural social butterflies. I feel we havent provided him with enough resources and support and I dont know where to turn. I wish you the very best of luck. My 14 year old son has no friends, and I'm worried. The kids he calls "friends" asked him to join the 7th grade football team but outside of seeing kids at school, there is no other social interaction. Some teens just haven't found the people on the same wavelength as them. Pondlife, thank you for your kind reply. by and our Most kids fall somewhere in between, but it's no wonder why many parents worry about their children's friendships and ability to make new friends. The kids who don't have friends, successful relationship as teenagers have much higher rates of delinquency, drug addiction, depression even suicide and very difficult times establishing successful adult relationships, this is big time concern. Contents: Reasons why a child may not have friends Your child may feel preoccupied Your child may feel neglected Your child may feel confused Your child may feel disrespected Your child may feel restricted Ways to help your child make friends Toddlers (2-3 years) Preschoolers (3-5 years) Middle Childhood (6-8 years) Middle Childhood (9-11 years) Hi@NywvmomTo2. Maybe counselling? When he is with me he is great, I do not know what he is doing that is off putting to others. If your concerns persist, you might want to consider having him talk to someone outside of the family. What are the consequences for children who bully and how do you protect children from ongoing bullying if it does not stop ? He barely goes outside. This situation happens when the child is an "outside the box" thinker or someone who doesn't really run along with the crowd. He sits at home all day watching TV, playing video games, and on his phone. He also said that when he hangs out in groups, he feels like the other people in the group are just 'tolerating his presence' rather than actually wanting him there. 1) Be Your Quirky Self My students write end of year reflections and one student wrote about a memorable comment that a boy said to her. He tells me that he does talk to people in school, and does have friends in school. He doesn't have a best friend; he is never invited over to other kids' houses or for overnights. I got him involved in every activity possible but is not really athletic. 26. Right now his dad has limited visitation but he wants to see my son and his sister (who is 11) every other week. You have to be a squeaky wheel and get in their face ! 10 "It is productive for parents to have conversations with their kids about healthy relationships, sex, and dating so they are not just getting their information from social media," Dr. Jassey says. Also, he's an only child, and I wonder if that could be a factor in why he doesn't enjoy hanging out in groups. . I tell them that people LOVE talking about themselves and feel good when others show interest in them as individuals. My son is 18 in a few weeks. Get Information. My 14 year old son has no friends. . He's okay, in fact, he's more than okay with how he spends . He doesn't want to be with his dad because his dad can be verbally and emotionally abusive. At age 26 he worked sporadic jobs with no continuity, socialized occasionally with one friend, and spent most of his awake time playing computer games. He's alone at home all the time, so it would leave me to believe he's also alone in school. I have been sad most of my sons life from him not be included and I'm just now starting to try to change my mind set. My 14 year old son has just spent another school holiday without any friends. I'm speechless . Ask The Friendship Doctor. He struggles to keep friends and I want to help him so badly. When I asked him why he doesn't try to arrange things himself and invite people from school, instead of waiting for other people to invite him, he said he didn't think that would work. Tell him that kids who are bullies have issues with their sense of self and their own lives and even though it may seem it's about him , it's really about them and what they have yet to learn about respect , dignity and self worth . I think he is more resilient and worldly wise than the "popular", super social kids he graduated with. My 12-year-old, going on 13, doesn't seem to have any close friends. I mean he isn't Channing Tatum, but he is a handsome young boy. I signed him up to karate classes and scouts. Is he shy around others, feels awkward or overwhelmed? For more information, please see our Helpfully, studies also show that it's not necessary for teenagers to be "popular" or have a large group of friends to reap these benefits. By Barbara Greenberg | July 25,. I've been worried about him for a while because when school is out, he spends most of his time at home, usually playing minecraft on his laptop. Cookie Notice I tell my teens who are having problems with loneliness to practice questions they can ask Kids at school . Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Good luck, God bless! My 14-year-old son has been struggling with problematic behaviors since early head start. (Maybe 20 lbs overweight). Check out the schools anti bullying policy etc. The old saying is . When he plays sports, for example, he will insist the rules be followed as closely as possible and will get annoyed if other people don't. He has flat feet, asthma, wears glasses and a little overweight. My problem is he has no friends or social life. The more you give out the more things come back to you over time . He's going to high school this upcoming year and I am really afraid he'll be kicked out. Fourteen-year-old Tom spends all his free time alone, on his computer. Knowing that you're there to help him will make a world of difference to their outlook. All we can do is try to help our kids through things as best we can but getting to the bottom of it sometimes is like real detective work. I hope this provides some hope - my son who I wrote about nearly two years ago is now heading off to college. If you do sense something is truly wrong, dig deeper. He's so loving that it makes me ache, so generous that it's hard for him to keep money in his pocket for long. Eleven-year-old Tina sits on the porch steps in tears. Entering middle school is a big adjustment for both teens and for their parents. I am in a similar position, my son is 14, for the past 3months has been a target of online bullying from his "friends". Good manners are always appreciated so support your son or daughter in learning what is expected in the outside world. What can I do to help him? Close. He was invited to birthday parties and had a lot of play dates. When he has created connections through school start to initiate those potential friends coming over , movie nights , playing video games together , swimming days etc . It's like the national anthem of parents: "It's not my childit's those kids he hangs out with!". Tell him that shy people have difficulty initiating conversations and to find kids in the class who seem a little alone and strick up a chat . This transition can be particularly difficult for those who tend to be shy or who have to work harder at making new friends. He might not share the same interests as his classmates (for example he may hate sports). I've been worried about him for a while because when school is out, he spends most of his time at home, usually playing minecraft on his laptop. Siblings can be brought into the mission to help, comfort, and share valuable information. 1. Unfortunately, there have been problems at home between my husband and me. Be kind to yourself and your . . The greatest likelihood is that he will "grow into" middle school and into a more active social life as soon as he is ready. I'm worried about my son. And as he matures, I'm starting to see that he is naturally an introvert. It's us.". I feel badly about him being left out. Don't immediately assume your son has weak social skills. There is often a lot of talk that goes on in the room but the follow through can be patchy, ad hoc or at its worst not implemented and can change once they hear the so called " other side " . 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. It seems there are so many kids who say stuff to him that no matter what classes he switches into there is someone making remarks to picking on him. What did you think ? I don't know what else to do. He may lack social skills or a have a personality that puts off others his own age. He's given up football (which he did from age 6). There is a saying " you are only as happy as your unhappiest child " , it must be so painful to watch and heart breaking for your son . What is it about social situations that he struggles with. "It's not like . He's a bright kid who doesn't get into trouble at school or home. He enjoys scouts but unfortunately hasn't made any friends yet. My first reaction when I read your post was anger ! My 14 year old son has no friends. If your son seems "fine" with his more limited network of friends, make sure you aren't transferring your own needs and/or insecurities onto him. He doesn't have a best friend; he is never invited over to other kids' houses or for overnights. We tried a psychologist who was recommended but she was awful and he couldnt get past the first appointment (she was confrontational and told him he was rude). Ir is also possible that he is avoidant and just won't let his symptoms/anxiety show. On Dec. 6, a group of James' friends in his eighth-grade class chipped in their own money to surprise him on his birthday at school and he's worn it every day since. Ronnie's passing comes just four years after Tina's oldest son, Craig, (whose father was the late saxophonist Raymond Hill) died by suicide at the age of 59 in July 2018. [Free Download: 14 Ways to Help Your Child With ADHD Make Friends] . My son is 13 and exactly the same. He is very focused on winning and trying to be the best, while other kids are just wanting to have fun, and aren't overly concerned about the rules of that particular sport or game. The Most Common Reasons Kids Have Trouble Making Friends Here are some ways you can help your children overcome challenges to develop and maintain friendships. 10:18 AM He previously had a best friend but he has distanced himself from my son for the past year, no reason given but he's hanging around with a different group of . Can he go talk to a school counsellor or someone- maybe research social anxiety? Be clear and specific . My 14 year old son is having an awful Time in high school and says he has no friends. Privacy Policy. I'm not sure if you have opportunity for that but if you do, perhaps that would help. It's needs to be treated with the same importance and urgency as any other kind of abuse - because that's what this is . "Those girls, if they act that way, they were never your friends ," Ellen tells her. We also don't have much of a social life. I agree get him into some after school activities. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). They may have crushes or they may consider themselves in a relationship. What can I do to help him? It was really brave of your son to speak out about the bullying - it's sad to hear how this has impacted him though. Aside from that, he seems to do much better in one-to-one situations compared to being in a group. He had a lot of friends growing up. All we can do is keep praying about it. User account menu. He is very clean and wears nice clothes and is a fairly decent student. Since then, he hasn't had any friends visit him at home, and he hasn't visited any at their house, as far as I know. My son told me last night he's upset because he feels he has no friends. It happens. I love that. "We've made a compromise, that . I have multiple siblings, and I became used to sharing, compromising and fitting in to a group from a young age. 1) Get to the root of the problem: Talk to your child and find out what's causing the issues with potential friendships. He was bullied throughout high school and ended up spending a lot of time alone in his room but he found a passion in computer science. Go chat with the teachers, school counsellors etc and voice your concerns. My 14 year old son is having an awfulTime in high school and says he has no friends. For a teenage girl, I know it's a universe in which my advice is a foreign tongue. Just continue to support and encourage him without pressuring him unnecessarily. He had a lot of friends growing up. I found with my son that just one friend can make all the difference. He is a quiet boy and quite socially awkward but not to an extreme extent. Hi, I've just been reading about your son. Every parent wants to see their children happy, interacting and engaged. Information is power. We lost my father-in-law at Christmas and I know this hit him hard. Why Your 15-Year-Old Son Has No Friends In most cases, teens just haven't found their group yet, their click. He has no friends to come visit him or to hang out with. I don't want him to end up being alone. My son is an introvert. Now suddenly he is free for the summer and his attempts at reaching out to kids to socialize are getting ignored. He sits at home all day watching TV, playing video games, and on his phone. He's a nice kid, a good kid. 2) Ask others: Those who are close to your child or who interact with them . Self-confident and outgoing from a young age, they make friends with other children easily. He sits at home all day watching TV, playing video games, and on his phone. No one calls . On Dec. 6, a group of James' friends in his eighth-grade class chipped in their own money to surprise him on his birthday at school and he's worn it every day since. And don't be hard on yourself - you sound very caring! My 10-year-old son is sociable, outgoing and not shy, but he never seems to fit in. My 14 year old son has no friends or a social life. This may start of in small momentary increments and over time , he will build rapport and a friendship may blossom . Insist on a plan with measurable outcomes . She might be noticeably different, either physically or intellectually. He can be quite negative, though, and I can see why this might be off-putting, and might cause him to squander opportunities to make friends. "The family home is where we get our bearings to the outside world, and we often follow the examples of our parents and siblings. Stop being sad and just feel blessed that he's mine and I am so lucky to have him. Anything that he enjoys doing . What can I do to help him? Thanks again! He's refused to really talk about it and just says "It's fine, Mom!" This must be devastating for you . He loves video games, board games and movies. This year he doesn't seem to hang with them. With a little bit of help and a lot of support, kids who have previously had difficulty making friends can experience the joy that solid friendships can bring.". As for your son, maybe joining a new club, sport or interest group would make for a good opportunity to meet new people. In his early elementary years (Kindergarten-2nd grade) teachers would call his mother and I and tell us that he's very quiet and doesn't talk. Have you sought out any support for yourself? Your childs self esteem is important at this age. I hope you can help. They will appreciate his efforts and quiet , reserved people can turn into the most loyal and steady friends across time . 05/02/2020 01:28. I have two incredible children and a loving husband all who are healthy. Wait for her response and validate whatever laments she may have about the difficulty of making and keeping friends. The truth is, my son doesn't give a damn. Part of HuffPost Parenting. You need need clear verification from them that they will act on their decisions and follow through . Both of the kids do not want that. It would be difficult knowing your son has no close friends, and the experience with the psychologist sounds awful. These are tough times but I actually joked to myself today, I'm 50 now and I can't remember a single thing about high school. ClickHere andHereto find some information on friendships and loneliness (I might actually go through them with my own daughter!) He has no friends to come visit him or to hang out with. Auto-suggest helps you quickly narrow down your search results by suggesting possible matches as you type. He barely goes outside. He seems to get picked on and bullied some too which I don't really understand. Hes too old for me to arrange a social life for him. If she went to Guides / Scouts / sports / choir then she would get to take part in activities with a new groups of children and may make friends with similar interests. Resist the temptation to chime in with your observations that your teenager daughter has no friends. Bring it to your meetings . I'm worried about my son. Hope you find them helpful. He's alone 24/7. I didn't know Bill Gates said that! Unfortunately, it's easy for me as a middle-aged man to choose whom I associate with and to embrace my nerdism. He has an apprenticeship he loves and goes to college on day release. It's not about you. Thanks for any help our direction you can give me. He's not into sports. "My saddest moment as a . I want him to develop healthy relationships but between home difficulties and his teen avoidance, I don't know what to do. Document everything your son tells you , keep a record with dates , times and reactions . It kills me because he says he tries to talk to people and they answer him but they never initiate a conversation with him. He likes to be alone and think, and he doesn't need to be invited to every party, go to every dance, or see every game with his friends. @motherbearhas some great suggestions there! This year he doesn't seem to hang with them. There are many reasons why a child may not have many, or any, friends. Having a close friend in adolescence can lead to lower rates of anxiety and depression. Painful teen friendship: What's a mom to do. Not sure what would be available where you are since you said your in a small country town. They will only give it enough energy and imperative if you drive the bus and you are his strongest advocate . My 14 year old son has no friends or a social life. Also contacting an organisation such as Headspace might be good - they have support groups and counselling for young people. What sort of music , movies , video games you like ? My 14 year old son has no friends. "If a child has at least one friend, there is a frame of reference and a forum in which to practice friendship." Parents may start to notice that their child is starting to develop a. It's hard for me to believe that. Knowledge is power and knowing will be the first step towards your child's future ability to make friends. My soon to be 17 yr old has no strong friendships either and I feel your pain. Found the internet! He's also painfully lonely. I try to encourage him to go out and try to get to know other kids in our neighborhood, but he never wants to do it. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. It must be so hard for you to watch this happen for him. Privacy Policy. There are some great resources in the Youth section of Reach Out. When I hear that, I always say: "Maybe that's so, but the reason he hangs out with that group is that he's similar to them. It truly hurts your own heart when your kids are hurting. We sit and brain storm lots of different topics and style of questions . His class teachers etc. 27/02/2022 13:26. He always seems to be "the whipping boy.". He was invited to birthday parties and had a lot of play dates. I don't know how large your school system is but students are typically thrown into a much larger pool of kids than they were used to in elementary school---at a time when many are feeling self-conscious and awkward. I'm worried that since he's struggling to fit in and make friends now, he will continue to struggle in the future when he gets a job, or goes to university, etc. The school should have an anti bullying policy and it might be a good idea to make an appointment with the wellbeing co-ordinator as well as the Principal together . Good manners are always appreciated so support your son or daughter in learning what is expected in the outside world. Dear ADDitude: My Child Doesn't Have Any Friends "My 8-year-old is happy and friendly, but he doesn't play with anyone at recess and doesn't like to work in groups. I'm not quite sure what advice to give him. Friendships. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, Help! He is a little chunky, but nothing horrible. What sport do you play , did you watch the footy on the weekend . Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. For more information, please see our I force him to go out on car rides every weekend with me and his older brother, because that's the only time I can get him out of the house. He will meet friends there who can help to be a buffer to what is going on at school . So phone them for updates always . 3. A teen asks: Why are friendships so fleeting? Who says the popular scene is all it's cracked up to be, anyway? Get him involved in sports or activities out of school , like karate , scouts , chess club . By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 10:09 AM It's not healthy to sit in the house all day. MY CHILD'S BEHAVIOUR WHEN "MY CHILD HAS NO FRIENDS AT SCHOOL" The actions of your child can show if your child has no friends at school or conflict is ongoing. He's absolutely hilarious, has the most adorable dimples, and despite treading water in the turbulent tween waters, he's actually a really great kid. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. He's refused to really talk about it and just says "It's fine, Mom!" Well done for reaching out to us . Relationships between two people take work, especially when both people are young and finding their way in the world. Also find out exactly what your son has trouble with- initiating conversations? The parents of those other kids are probably saying the same thing about your child.". This has been true since about fourth grade when he never asked for friends to come over or got asked to stay over much with other kids. I always tried to encourage him to go out and get some air. QUESTION. He starts high school next week and I am very anxious. For instance when they're playing soccer, if some of them kick the ball over the fence, it's seen as funny but when . This has been true since about fourth grade when he never asked for friends to come over or got asked to stay over much with other kids. Kids are cruel. He isn't into sports although I have tried to encourage him to join them without success. I live in Oregon and my 13 year old son has run away twice. Or may be you can talk with someone who interacts with your son regularly(teachers, sibling, neighbours) as they may have some insight to the problem. He has never physically abused him. I feel helpless. Welcome to ReachOut forums and thank you for sharing what is going on with your son. Hello, I received a text from my teen's friend 's mother saying my 14 years old son has been sending texts to her son using really bad language. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Ngaio-RO. Your son may be uncomfortable in inviting friends over if there is a high level of conflict in your home. I have approached their parents and informed them what has been going on, their reaction was horrible, they didn't want to know about it, boys will be boys, to man up etc. He has taught himself more than a dozen programming languages and got a big scholarship to college and couldn't be more excited to find kids like himself. He's alone 24/7. He doesn't talk to them outside of school and he doesn't have their phone numbers. It's heartbreaking. He seems to get picked on and bullied some too which I don't really understand. My 14 year old son has no friends Anonymous 24/05/2014 at 2:20 pm In answer to Anonymous Have you tried signing her up for some after school / evening groups. I had a similar experience when my son was around the same age andI recall something that worked for us was that I "chose" the kids in his peer group that I could see looked like nice, kind kids & I instigated play outside of school and nurtured those friendships. I'm trying to focus on that. 08-29-2017 Entering middle school is a big adjustment for both teens and for their parents. He is very shy and spends all his time in his room. He has had some good friends in elementary school in the past, but was switched in his classes each year so every time he made a friend, he wasn't in the same class with that child the next year and it fell apart. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. This transition can be particularly difficult for those who tend to be shy or who have to work harder at making new friends. My son told me last night he's upset because he feels he has no friends. - last edited on 08-28-2017 How can I help my son become more social? Jadine, age 20, like Rob, dropped out of art school after a short stint and retreated to her room where for two years she rarely communicated with her mom because of her selective mutism . We are not a counselling or crisis service and we can't guarantee you'll get a reply, so if you need to talk now, The current time is Mon, 1:37 AM(Australian Eastern time). And it's equally important to let the child know that he is not alone. He'd like to join them but has no idea how. Ongoing bullying can have massive repercussions and the fallout for the future can be very damaging . 26. She is still learning about friendships, and what she learns is valuable information she will take with her throughout her life. I wish I lived in a bigger city where I had more options but I live in a small town and the other schools are not appealing to him that are local. Also, we are not members of a church or synagogue, which are big social drivers in our town but I know other parents aren't either so I can't tie it just to that He is playing football at school so I am hoping he'll have more opportunities meeting new friends. He was very close to Grandad. Are there any signs of him not doing well in school or actively avoiding being with people his age? Hi@LuckyGirl2000Welcome to Reach Out and thank you for sharing your story. Stay in touch. I appreciate any feedback. He had a friend who lived close who he used to hang out with regularly, but the kid and his family moved away about 3 years ago. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Continue to love your child and nurture his interests - it's the most important thing! If your son is not showing signs of depression or anxiety and seems very content, it is possible that he is schizoid and not avoidant. I even tell him, "You can at least go out and sit on the porch." Anyway all the best. You sound like a loving mother, so of course this is going to impact you as well. 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